The Trouble With Being Able to Afford It.

Compound Emotion

Weekly essays on building a life with more wealth, margin, and optionality across money, time, and energy.

Last week, I wrote about why paying yourself first is harder than it sounds. Setting money aside before spending it is the first pillar in my book, The 7 Pillars of Wealth. But protecting that first slice of income raises another question: what should we do with what’s left?

That brings me to the second pillar: Prioritize Your Spending. The idea sounds straightforward: spend more on what matters, less on what doesn’t, and don’t let every increase in income become an increase in expenses. Yet I’ve found that spending decisions rarely feel that simple in the moment.

A nicer apartment, a more comfortable car, another subscription, or a convenient service can all seem reasonable on their own. We work hard, our income improves, and naturally we want our lives to improve with it. The problem isn’t necessarily any individual purchase. A series of reasonable decisions can quietly produce a result we never consciously chose.

One of the biggest frictions in prioritizing spending is the feeling of deprivation. We hear that we should cut expenses, and immediately think about everything we’d have to give up. After years of working to improve our financial circumstances, it can feel strange to question purchases we can now afford.

I understand that reaction. Isn’t enjoying those things part of why we worked so hard in the first place? I don’t think intentional spending should mean denying ourselves everything enjoyable. A family trip, a good meal, or a service that genuinely saves time can be worth the money.

What I’ve gradually realized is that different purchases contribute differently to the life we’re trying to build. When priorities are unclear, every attractive purchase becomes another negotiation. When we know what matters most, saying no to something less important becomes easier because we understand what we’re protecting.

Intentional spending isn’t about saying no more often. It’s about making room to say yes to what matters.

Another common assumption is that we’ll start prioritizing spending once we earn more. When income is limited, that can seem reasonable. Surely a higher salary will make the trade-offs easier.

Sometimes it does. But I’ve noticed how quickly expectations adjust to improved circumstances. What once felt like a luxury gradually becomes normal, and what used to be enough can start feeling restrictive.

The changes rarely arrive all at once. A slightly better apartment, more frequent dining out, additional services, and small conveniences each have a reasonable explanation. Eventually, a meaningful portion of the additional income is already committed.

That’s what makes lifestyle creep difficult to recognize. It doesn’t necessarily feel like overspending. It often feels like enjoying the life we’ve worked to afford. The question isn’t whether we’re allowed to enjoy a higher income, but whether those additional expenses genuinely improve our lives in ways we value.

Income can grow while flexibility stays exactly where it was.

The third friction is more practical: tracking every expense can become exhausting. I’ve seen how easily a well-intentioned budgeting exercise turns into another responsibility competing for our time and attention.

Understanding where our money goes matters, especially when spending outpaces income. But I don’t think most people want to spend the rest of their lives evaluating every coffee, restaurant bill, or small purchase.

A more sustainable approach is to make the important decisions before they become daily decisions. Decide which expenses genuinely improve your life, which ones you can comfortably reduce, and which recurring commitments deserve another look.

Someone who values travel may choose to spend generously on experiences while keeping other expenses modest. Someone else may prioritize a comfortable home, hobbies, or services that create more time with family. Neither approach is necessarily better. What matters is whether our spending reflects what we value rather than someone else’s definition of responsible spending.

Once those priorities are clear, we don’t need to reconsider every decision from the beginning. A few deliberate choices can replace dozens of small negotiations. A spending system isn’t meant to make us think about money constantly. It’s meant to require fewer decisions.

I’ve come to think of spending as more than a financial decision. Every recurring expense claims future income, and sometimes future time and energy as well. A purchase can make life more comfortable today while creating an obligation tomorrow.

That doesn’t make spending bad. Money is meant to support life, not simply accumulate. But a purchase’s value includes what it adds to our lives and what it leaves available for everything else.

That is why my book puts paying yourself first before prioritizing spending. The first pillar creates margin. The second helps preserve it by deciding what deserves the resources we’ve worked to earn.

I’m still learning where that balance should be. I’m happy to spend more on some things and’ve gradually realized others matter less than I once thought. I don’t always get those decisions right, and I don’t expect my priorities to remain the same forever.

I’m becoming less interested in whether I can afford something and more interested in whether it’s worth making room for. Being able to afford something doesn’t automatically make it worth the space it takes in our lives.

P.S. What’s one expense you’ve realized is worth paying more for, or one you’ve decided matters less than it used to? Just hit reply. I’d be interested to hear how your spending priorities have changed.

A quick note: If you’d like to explore the full framework for building wealth across money, time, and energy, the Kindle edition of my book, The 7 Pillars of Wealth, is currently $0.99 through October 24.

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See you next Tuesday.

Bill